If we cared about your call
we would have hired a person to answer the phone.
But we don’t care
so you are going to talk to a machine.
Press 1 to register for our high-interest credit card.
Press 2 to register for our low-return rewards card.
Press 3 if you want to offer suggestions
Press 4 for all your frequently asked questions..
For all other calls, stay on the line
for the next available service representative.
To ensure quality customer service
and for training purposes
we have the legal right to record your call
so if we eavesdrop on you
we won’t even tell you we’re doing it.
If we cared about your call, we would have hired
enough service representatives to answer all the calls,
but we don’t care
and all our service representatives are busy.
Stay on the line
for the next available service representative.
Or just hang up.
We don’t care.
